8 Things To Remember After Breaking Up With Your Soul-mate

Relationships are often tough.

Words can’t describe relationships with your soulmate, or any soul connection. They’re passionate and filled with a wide variety of unpredictable emotions from fear, jealousy, and obsession to intense love and passion.

When you meet your soulmate you often forget who you are when it ends. This feeling is euphoric and addicting, and when you end up losing your soulmate, the hurt is indescribable.

You’ll miss them, go through grief, try to wait for them, believe you’ll never find love and be alone forever, and believe that you’ll never come across the love of your life again.

This is all false. These feelings are valid but they are not long-lasting. These feelings are fleeting, and even though it can seem like you’ll feel this forever, it’ll pass and you will heal.

This article is to help you understand the beauty that can also come from separating from your soulmate. The separation phase in your soulmate journey can lead to self-discovery, spiritual growth, finding yourself as a person, and making sense of your life and divine purpose.

You’ll see that at a soul level your connection with your soulmate isn’t severed and can never be severed.

Take your time reading this article and processing your emotions. It can be hard and even feel unfair. Trust the process. With that being said, let’s get into the details of the purpose of a soulmate relationship.

Season, Reason, or Lifetime

First, let’s answer a question that comes up often: can you break up with your soulmate? Do soulmates break up?

Of course, you can. Soulmates do not innately stay in our lives until the end of our days. Soulmates can if they choose to and it’s part of their life plan, but the soul connection is not dependent upon a romantic relationship or any close relationship at all.

Some people refer to a “soulmate contract” or a “soul contract” as the determiner if you and your soulmate stay together. It’s important to know that, when speaking about the idea of soulmates and your twin flame and the like, the soul connection goes beyond the ego.

Our relationships go beyond what we perceive and the physical closeness we might want.

Even though we might be physically away from our soulmates, it doesn’t mean that our relationship with them is severed because it is never severed.

It’s important to understand your soulmate’s purpose in your life.

Are they there just for some time, for a season?

Is there a reason, a specific life lesson, that they’re with you?

Or has your soulmate transformed into a life partner and you both choose divine commitment to each other?

The purpose of your soulmate connection is to transport you to a higher state of self-awareness. You both must uplift each other and bring each other to a more advanced stage in your life. This isn’t an easy thing as it can be uncomfortable.

Breaking up with your soulmate is a pain that has a beauty in it, an experience that blesses you with a gift of understanding, realization, and hope.

Soulmates Separation

Eventually, soulmates must break physical distance from each other. Whether this is through death, through needing physical separation due to family or business or a trip, breaking up, or just general separation, all soulmate connections will experience a “separation phase”.

This can cause one or both of you to experience paranoia, and feelings of abandonment. It can even cause an eventual breakdown.

Sometimes soulmates become very intense in the relationship (which is why it’s important to establish healthy boundaries!), and it can make it difficult to manage a relationship for long periods.

Unless you both are willingly working on the betterment of each other and yourselves, the soulmate connection can easily be rekindled physically.

The separation phase of a soulmate relationship is often karmic, as our relationship with them is karmic in general. Knowing that your relationship is karmic will aid you in reflecting on the purpose of the relationship, understanding why things happened the way they did, why things didn’t work out, and what lesson you can learn from it.

Having a separation phase means there’s a reunion phase, where you both get back together again. It might not happen immediately and your relationship might not be as close as it once was and can take some time to rekindle the flame.

#1 Divine Timing

You might feel like you’ve met your soulmate at the wrong time, but we can tell you truly that “wrong timing” does not exist with your soulmate. It’s important to remember those soulmate relationships have their own flow, their own pattern, and their own timing. So the way the relationship played out was for a reason.

This divine timing is unknown to us and we aren’t aware of it. We can get an idea of divine timing for our relationships and life events through divination techniques like tarot readings and astrology.

Soulmate separation and soulmate reunion are in constant ebb and flow: we separate from our soulmate each lifetime and we reunite with our soulmate each lifetime.

Soulmate relationships are unique, complex, and euphoric. The highs and lows of any soul connection, especially that of a soulmate and twin flame relationship, can be emotionally exhausting and emotionally liberating.

#2 The Biggest Mistake of Your Life? The Grief for Your Soulmate

This can be one of the hardest feelings to deal with after the break up with your soulmate.

The feeling of regret, guilt, and like you’ve made the worst mistake ever is a dreadful feeling. It’s a form of grief you go through. It can feel like you’re missing a part of yourself.

You’ll have doubts about your choice (or their choice), and it can urge you to contact them obsessively or try to bargain with them about the relationship.

Psychology Today writer, Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D, wrote an article about the seven stages of grieving over a break-up.

In the end, her main point is this: “Eventually, recovery after a breakup leads to redirecting your life force into hope. This becomes your new beginning.”

Breaking up with your soulmate was not the wrong choice. However, things played out between you and the divine love of your life were meant to be. You and your soulmate experienced an amazing connection which is a blessing.

#3 Reconciliation and Compromise with your Soulmate

We don’t mean compromise by bargaining with your soulmate to keep them.

Reconciliation and compromise normally happen at two stages: before the break-up and both of you agree on specific terms, or after the break-up when some time has passed.

Both of these moments are an opportune time to figure out the role your soulmate will have in your life before or after a break-up. It may be you both need some space for a short time, or that one or both of you are in love with someone else. It may be that the relationship is better as friends.

Whatever the situation is, after letting some time heal, you might find talking calmly to reconcile and get to a middle ground will aid in your personal healing and the healing of the relationship. Remember, a relationship with your soulmate does not have to be romantic, and you can still stay in each other’s lives.

The pain can and will lessen over time.

#4 Other Relationships with your Soulmate: Being the Best Friend

Breakup with soulmates does not mean that you have lost your partner forever.

Like in point #3, time will heal the pain. You can realize that being in each other’s lives is important to you both. With compromise, you find you can be best friends! A platonic and deeply endearing relationship means that things work, but maybe not with a budding romance. And that’s okay! There are more types of love in our lives and you don’t need a romantic connection to be happy!

Allowing your relationship with your soulmate to form into a closeness similar to with friends and family, is the way you both get back together. You might find more happiness and respect for your soulmate while being platonic with each other!

Don’t shake this idea of platonic love for your soulmate, as this can be crucial to dealing with the pain. Remember, talk about it with your soulmate and decide together if you’re both okay with this.

#5 Change Isn’t So Bad After All

After some time, you’ll notice that the sun is still shining. Your world is still together. You’ve rebuilt the structure, changed the decorations, and maybe even learned a bit more about the temporal nature of everything.

Everything must go through change: all relationships, yourself, and all environments. The more you experience change and purposefully stimulate change, you’ll embrace this and maybe even become more grateful for the relationship you had with your soulmate.

Think back on your soulmate fondly and think of your future the same way. Think of what lies ahead with excitement, bravery, and courage. Look at the present, right now, and think about how you are feeling. Recognize the feelings, and choose what you can do right now to better yourself now and in the future.

The future is in five minutes, thirty days, or ten years! The world is yours.

#6 Your Soulmate Is Not Your Possession

Remembering this point can be hard.

Logically, of course, we know we don’t actually own our soulmates. We didn’t buy them at an auction or get a lease for them. They aren’t our property. But we can feel such possession over them.

They feel like our person, our love. We gave them so much of ourselves and they might as well have our names written on them.

This is a type of cognitive dissonance. Our thoughts are one thing but our emotions and actions do something else. This contradiction can make us feel more confused, regretful, and even uncomfortable. Mindfulness and meditation can help with these contradicting feelings and thoughts.

Remember, breaking off with your soulmate is not an end. It is not the end of your love life. It is not the end of you. And it is not the end of your relationship with your soulmate. Many people have gotten their best life lessons from difficult experiences, and separating from their soul mates is no exception.

Learning to apply these life lessons will help you move forward in another relationship.

#7 New Life, Who Dis? Life-Reset After The Breakup

This point goes into the application with #6. New emotions, new thoughts, and ideas, new opportunities!

You’ve accepted the change and now you can move forward with your life. Letting go of this connection, taking time to heal your mind and start doing things for yourself and not someone else, you’ll realize you can conquer anything!

Moving on is rewarding as you can allow new things to happen in your life. Your life has endless possibilities! Countless windows of opportunity to find new love, maybe get married, pick up a new skill, dedicate yourself to a cause you believe in, or begin deeply exploring unanswered questions in life. You might move to a different state, town, or country. Learn a new language and understand different new

In this new stage of your life, try to begin shadow work. Look at your shadow self.

The shadow self is the dark, unknown, and even broken part of our mind. It’s the part that is hurt, and feels as if it’s always losing, and unrealized. Most people have trouble dealing with and accepting the shadow self, as it often comes up in our dreams and when we project onto others.

According to the Wikipedia page for the Shadow in psychology, “According to [Carl] Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to psychological projection, in which a perceived personal inferiority is recognized as a perceived moral deficiency in someone else.”

#8 To Soulmate or Not to Soulmate? That Is the Question

Sometimes two questions can come up. One: were they really your soulmate? Two: can you be in a relationship again without your soulmate?

To answer the first question, you’ll know if someone was your soulmate. Digging deeply into your heart, into your mind, and into your relationship will reveal to you what type of soul connection you had with this person. We have an article you can read that reveals the signs someone is your soulmate.

To answer the second question, yes you can. You can be in love with other people outside of your soulmate and even have a more fulfilling relationship! You can have romance and love affairs that are more fun, flirty, passionate, and better yet, a lifelong commitment!

While we do have one soulmate in our life, we can have multiple loves and friends. The person we make our commitment with for the long haul is someone we’ll be married to, best friends with, or just always by their side.

Sometimes after the break up with your soulmate, you might feel you must wait for them. You’ll begin to believe and think they’ll come back to you one day.

This thinking can hold you back from living your life. It can and will hold you back from finding true and new love that’ll last.

Begin thinking about your life partner, the person who will be by your side no matter what. This will bring you true happiness and love.

The Takeaway

To end our article, we want to give one more quote from Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D, from her article “The 7 Stages of Grieving a Breakup”.

She says, “However, like any emotional amputation, continuing on in life means learning to live without that part of yourself, and finding ways to compensate for its loss.”

Loss and breakups are inevitable in your life. Whether with a friend, lover, soulmate, or twin flame, we will lose people.

And that’s okay.

You have many chances and opportunities every day to rebuild yourself and strengthen yourself. And with time and baby steps each day, you will.